Blissful Marriage

♥ The Good Wife ♥

In this post, please don’t expect an answer to the question “How to be a good wife?” because that is a question I try to look answers for. 🙂

Last night I asked my husband how he thinks of me as a mom. He said that I certainly pass as a mom with flying colors pa except for my few occasional meltdowns. Then, I asked him how he thinks of me as a wife. A long and deadly silence filled the room! Haha And, a LOL moment after. He said that I don’t iron his clothes which is fine with him. He appreciates the way I clean and organize everything but not my OC-ness. But, he certainly hopes for me to cook food for him on weekends, or at least manage the meals on weekends. Of course, I quickly defended myself. I told him I’d love to do that and more if only I have time on my side. In fact, before the kids I used to cook and bake a lot. Cleaning the house and taking care of the kids (bathing, feeding, sleeping, playing) take up so much of my time and energy, so much that I can’t even find time for myself. I can’t finish a book, can’t eat hot meals, can’t go to a salon for hair trimming and I can’t even enjoy an unrushed shower. He said he understands given that I also work full-tme on weekdays that’s why he lowers his expectations to just me making him a coffee every morning. We both laughed and slept. However, the thought of my husband’s very simple wish and that is for his wife to make him a coffee every day had remained in my mind.

Back in High School and College, all my friends and suitors (ehem) thought I was a wife material. That’s how I’ve always been described. I find it in every testimonial, scrapbook and letters people gave me. I’m thinking now, what ever happened to that wife material girl? How could I be a wife material if I don’t even make my husband a 3-in-1 coffee? If they only knew! Haha Imagine, a COFFEE!

Modesty aside, I think I’m already doing a great job as a mom. But, I desperately need to know how to be a good wife or a better one, if that makes any difference. Aside from taking care of the kids, I also work full-time. I clean the house and organize our stuff including our massive clothes. I teach a toddler and I manage our finances. Mind you, my husband is a good provider but he doesn’t save and if he does, he doesn’t keep a record. So, when I took over, he’s surprised and overwhelmed with all the financial data I feed him. I sort of report to him quarterly our financial position. However, I neither cook nor plan our meals. I don’t go to wet markets or supermarkets. I don’t actually pay our bills, like queueing to payment centers. I only go to banks when it’s utmost necessary. I don’t do the laundry and the ironing. We hired someone to do those. 

But, I want to do more simply because:

1. The best thing I can do for my kids is to love their father.
2. I love my husband.
3. I honor our marriage (vow).
4. I believe that God wants me to love and serve my husband (emphasis to the word serve). And, by serve, I don’t just mean the S word. We got that covered. 🙂

So, how do I serve my husband aside from what I already do? They say that a strong marriage is made of faith, love, respect, loyalty, honesty and service. I love him and I respect him. I am faithful and loyal to him as well. I submit myself to him too. But serve? Wait, what serve? Okay, I think I fail at the service department. How do I serve my husband well? I have yet to research and understand his needs, I guess before I can serve him well. As for him, well, he prepares/buys our breakfast almost every day. He runs errands for me, deposits and withdraws in the bank for me. He buys what I ask him to buy and pays what I ask him to pay. Pretty much, all I need is to ask and he will do it. To cut the story short, he’s way better than me as far as the service department is concerned.

Without service, marriage is simply not complete, not just marriage but love in general. So, I’m really serious about this. I want our marriage to be stronger by building it right, like a cake with complete and proper ingredients, like a ship made of good steel, an airplane made of strong aluminum, a ring from platinum, a stone cut from a precious diamond and a clarinet from grenadilla wood. Our marriage is not on the rocks but why wait for a shake, right?

I welcome your suggestion, dears! How about you? How do you serve your husbands? The first-hand experiences are the best! Share your thoughts away below. But, for now, I sure need to start with a coffee. 🙂

I can do minor sewing too…
But, a COFFEE is all he asks of me to do! 🙂

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